Tending the Garden – My Family
As we tend to the garden of our heart, we are in a better place to tend to the garden of our family.
When we walk with God, abiding in the vine, we are the living examples our children need, through the good times and the bad.
What better qualities to exhibit as a parent then the fruit of the Spirit: “…love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control…” Galatians 5:22-23
And when we fail in that, how do we respond? How we respond to our own mistakes can also be a good example for our children.
As a gardener builds a stone wall or a fence around his plot of ground, so we protect our families from physical and spiritual harm and provide a place of nurturing in the words and ways of God.
The word and the Spirit of God are important because they shape us as the parent so we can be an example, they provide practical instruction and insight for parenting, and they are the guidebook and the Guide we point our children to for the path ahead of them.
“Train up a child in the way he should go, even when he is old he will not depart from it.” Proverbs 22:6
Part of that practical instruction is to discipline your offspring:
“Do not hold back discipline from the child…” Proverbs 23:13a
“The rod and reproof give wisdom, but a child who gets his own way brings shame to his mother…Correct your son, and he will give you comfort; He will also delight your soul.” Proverbs 29:15,17
And fathers get an admonition as well:
“Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.” Ephesians 6:4
“Fathers, do not exasperate your children, so that they will not lose heart.” Colossians 3:21
We don’t cause a plant to grow. If we try to make a plant grow by brute force, we would tear it to pieces. We provide the ingredients. The miracle of growth belongs to God. Speaking to the believers at Corinth, Paul comments on this idea: “I planted, Apollos watered, but God was causing the growth.” 1 Corinthians 3:6
Another similarity that children have with plants is their individuality. Different kinds of plants thrive on differing amounts of shade and water for example. Some are tender, some are hardy. Children are different, too. Some came out of God’s hand quietly, and some came out at full tilt. All of them need care, but if we address and get to know each child as an individual it will help us provide what they need to thrive.
Sometimes in the process of all this horticulture it is helpful to get advice from a master gardener. In the U.S., many land grant universities and their cooperative extension service offer a Master Gardener program. These gardeners receive special training and volunteer to help others learn gardening skills1. In the same way, as a parent it’s okay to turn to others who have dealt with the diapers and the disobedience and the dating questions to gain insight from their parenting experience and godly wisdom. Perhaps you’re an older woman who might be able to help a young mom with things you learned. (Titus 2:3-5) And likewise for the older men helping the younger men.
Ultimately, we can ask The Gardener to walk with us along the hedgerow to give us wisdom in how to care for the garden of our family.
“But if any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask of God, who gives to all generously and without reproach, and it will be given to him.” James 1:5
As time passes, the seasons change, and the years go by. We deal with different phases of life with the wisdom God provides, all the while providing the word and the way of the Spirit, manifesting God’s love in myriad ways, and praying a lot. We make room for life to take root and trust God with what remains.
Perhaps you find yourself caring for a child not your own who does not have all the nurturing they need in life. When you do this, you are close to the heart of God.
“A father of the fatherless and a judge for the widows, is God in his holy habitation.” Isaiah 68:5
“Pure and undefiled religion in the sight of our God and Father is this: to visit orphans and widows in their distress, and to keep oneself unstained by the world.” James 1:27
As we are attentive to our families by providing discipline, instruction, guidance and love and our own living example of how to walk with the Creator, we provide the ingredients needed for the garden of our family to flourish.
To consider: How can I make room for life in my spouse’s heart by my words or actions? Am I taking the time I need out of my busy schedule to tend to the needs of my family? What do I love about my family members? Have I told them?
References:
1https://mastergardener.extension.org/
Scripture quoted from the New American Standard Bible® Copyright ©1995 by the Lockman Foundation. Used by permission.
Next Week: Tending the Gardens – My Neighbor
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